I think most of us know that feeling when you’re months into the New Year and you realise that those resolutions you eagerly made on the 1st January haven’t exactly planned out how you’d hoped. Even though you’ve been promising yourself that this year will be different. For the last 3 years.
I have to admit that this had been my reality for years, medical I wanted to go on a radical diet to lose weight, shop give up chocolate ‘for real this time!’ The list goes on. By the time February/March rolled around, I’d begin to feel very unsatisfied with myself, like I had failed myself and would find that I’d constantly castigate myself as a result of this feeling. What made matters worse was that, naturally, all I’d see as I scrolled through Instagram was other people enjoying their successes, sharing their achievements and just generally being my idea of “goals” (I really dislike that word).
Now, I know that social media isn’t a true representation of reality, and people only show you the best parts of their lives and alla that, but I still couldn’t help but compare.
It was at this point last year, I realised that I hadn’t necessarily failed myself, but my tendency to compare myself with others had set myself up for failure. Not everybody has the same journey, everyone’s journey is different and some people may take a longer time than others to reach their final goal. Unfortunately for me, living in a generation that lives for instant gratitude, this was a difficult concept for me to accept, and even today I often need to remind myself of this. There is a LOT of power in the tongue, and constantly critiquing myself wasn’t conducive to my growth at all. As the saying goes, the journey to success makes it all even sweeter. Some of the most valuable things in life take a lot of effort and time. Do not let a resolution hold you hostage, metaphorically speaking. Embrace your journey!
Now I’m not saying that you should ever put limits on yourself or on your potential. If you believe in yourself then you really can do anything when you put your mind to it. If the only running you’ve done is for a bus but decide that you want to run a marathon this year? Train for that marathon. If you’re determined on getting that A in a class, then girl you better stay in those books. Anything is possible, but nothing comes easily- what is for you will not pass you.
Personally, I decided to make it a point to completely switch up my New Years resolutions this year, and instead of focusing on things that were pretty superficial as I’d done in the past, I focused more on self-improvements to traits of my personality – things that are of more substance and are personal to me. So far so good, but I won’t speak too soon, get back to me in a couple more months…
Written by Deborah Banjo