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Daddy Issues

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I’m sure you’ve all heard the term “Daddy’s Girl”, help you know, about it that “Princess” who was spoilt by her dad and can have anything she wants. Some women who are fortunate enough to have a special relationship with their dad wear that title as a badge, proudly.

But some women are not as fortunate. And that’s fine, because just like anything, there is nothing us women can’t turn around, once we recognise, accept and want to change a matter, we absolutely can and will!

It is commonly said a woman has “daddy issues” when her behaviour or mind set indicates that her father was either absent in her life completely, or physically present but emotionally unavailable.  These issues can affect a young girl going into womanhood, especially if she’s trying to compensate for the attention she may not have received from her dad in her relationships. 

While a woman may seem to have it all together at first glance, there are certain characteristics women with daddy issues are said to display, and if you’re not sure, the following I have personally experienced may be a few of the signs you might recognise in yourself.

*Disclaimer. Although I have studied Psychology at a Degree Level, I am by no means a DR, Psychologist or know it all. These are things I have personally experienced, and after many years of trying to understand certain things and reading/researching this I have come to the following conclusions about my own behaviour, matched with my upbringing and relationships with men, including my Dad. 

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1. Dating Older Men                                                                                                                             Some women who lacked a dad growing up may find themselves solely attracted to older men. These older men then become the “father-figure” in their lives rather than a boyfriend, as crazy as that sounds, an older man seems to ‘have it together’.  I have personally found myself wanting a man to care of me to feel a sense of security, which I lacked from my own dad growing up.

2. Jealous and/or Overly Protective                                                                                                    No matter the reason, growing up without your dad is a sense of abandonment. In dating situations, you may be a bit jealous, clingy and overly protective of your partner because fearing him just leaving. Thinking a man is capable of leaving may make you hold on to him that much harder, even when the relationship isn’t a healthy one. This is a point I want to stress on! If you find yourself in a situation like this, just remember the gap you are trying to fill in yourself with another person will always be there. Take time to figure out how you can work on those gaps without a man, seek support if you need to, speak to someone. But most importantly remember once you become aware of this you can begin to try to understand it and turn those feelings into healthy feelings.  

3. Needing Constant Reassurance of Love/Affection                                                                       Even if a woman’s dad was physically present, it’s possible to still feel unloved growing up. Even if the man in your life shows or tells you how much he loves you, it may never be enough due to these issues which run deep.I used to feel like my man should shout to the whole world how much he loves me, EVERY SINGLE DAY. And if he did, it probably wouldn’t be enough. Crazy I know lol.

daddyissuess

 4. Sex, yeah that thing!                                                                                                                       Most dads teach their daughters to ‘respect themselves and their bodies’, funny enough I feel women who can find themselves relating with these issues tend to find themselves with men who have similar views in regards to sex, the way a woman dresses etc, all in all sex can be a grey area for women with ‘daddy issues’. People often label women as ‘sluts’ or ‘giving it up’ down to ‘daddy issues’ but we won’t even go into that lol all I will say is that men will continue to try and shame women for an act they participate in… yeah that logic..let’s move on.

5. Serial Dater/Monogamist                                                                                                                 Sometimes you will find yourself just wanting to be in a relationship and not assessing the person and if they are right for you. You should take the time to get know YOU, therefore recognising a pattern so that you can ultimately break it. I found myself in a very long relationship due to security and assurance someone was there. But it was one of the best experiences of my life, it taught me how amazing I was as a woman, and it wasn’t the man that taught me this. It was the process of getting to know myself once I removed myself from that relationship and realised the gaps I was filling with this man were mine to work on and having done that I have never been more comfortable with my complexities.

It’s okay to be without a man. It’s important to learn to accept the past and forgive in order to move on with your life. There ARE men out there who are NOT like a father figure who did not fulfil his duties, and once you learn to love herself, you will never ever have to lower your standards or ask yourself if you are ‘worthy of a good man’ because of someone else’s absence and wrong doings. 

But until then, it’s okay to be single and bad AF in everything you do!

Written by Payzee Mahmood

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1 Comment

  1. I really appreciate your post and you explain each and every point very well.Thanks for sharing this information.And I’ll love to read your next post too.

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