We live in the dating-app era. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, and so on and so forth.
All we do is adding personal information, a couple of pictures and cool quotes, giving a definition of our sexual orientation, our tastes and preferences, and once finished, a new world opens up to us. And then it’s all a matter of swiping left or right.
I kept asking myself, and now I ask you, isn’t this sad? I frankly think so.
Our love-life came down to that: picking a man like we pick the groceries when we go to the supermarket.
That’s why, as an opposite trend, a new concept makes its way: sapiosexual.
The term (that comes from Latin sapiens that means wise/intelligent and sexualis) is a new definition of sexuality, intended as a strong erotic attraction for intelligence, which very often goes beyond the universally recognized physicality and aesthetic standards.
This expression has nothing to do with notions and general knowledge. It is based on the exchange of purely cultural stimuli, of values, of new conversations that lead to new reflections, creating mental intrigues and mutual curiosity.
It is a seduction made of words, dialogues and experiences which increase and broaden one’s vision of the world, growing pure intellectual and erotic interest.
Sapiosexuals claim to be more attracted to people’s intelligence than their appearance, or consider high intelligence a big turn-on. No one wants to date an idiot, of course, but as Indiana University School of Public Health professor and sex researcher Debby Herbenick clarified, for sapiosexuals intellect is the most pivotal factor in attraction.
“Some people who identify as sapiosexual describe intelligence as a fetish or kink, others say they fall in love with someone’s brain” Herbenick said.
And even though it may seem strange, the first sexual organ to stimulate is, in fact, the brain because it is often the best tool to fascinate and seduce.
A recent study conducted by the University of Leuven, Belgium, confirms how erotic thoughts, and more generally the brain, are at the basis of the female orgasm.The intellectual inputs – whether they are linked to fantasies or verbal stimulation – greatly facilitate, in women, the achievement of pleasure, beyond anything that concerns the purely physical aspect.
It does not change for men: according to researchers from the University of Toronto, the erection is in fact cerebral.
Sapiosexual doesn’t mean using one’s mind to erotically activate the body, it means making love with the other’s brain. This is nothing more than the first step to create a precise feeling and enter into a deep relationship, which goes far beyond the physical, aesthetic and superficial aspects we see on tinder.