Have you ever looked at your life and thought, what am I doing?
I work full-time and dream of a different life where things were more simple. However, I need to earn money, I need to pay the bills and I need to get on with life and take care of everything that life throws at me. I need to handle my personal life, and still need time to relax. Phew!
I have goals but feel so far away from them. I take steps forward then feel like I’m going backwards every time I am back on that hustle. So where does that leave me?
I have goals but feel as though my responsibilities take more space in my life. I remember being in a meeting and during an ice-breaker, a majority of people, including myself, said they wish they had more time to get more done. I know I am doing a hell of a lot, but it’s not necessarily everything I’d prefer to be doing.
On another note, I see people who seem to be living their best life. Being creative, modelling, earning that YouTube money and still having time to go on holidays, see their friends, wake up late and still manage to eat, exercise and get shit done. I ask myself why am I not living that life? But also, why don’t I feel like taking the steps to living that life?
I’ve tried many things, but many of those things didn’t seem to work out or feel right to me. I know there’s a time for everything. I know that sometimes our conditioning takes us to where we are today. But I also know that we have the capability of creating the life we want. So I guess that’s where the conflict comes from.
Most of the time growing older comes with responsibilities. That’s what we call ‘adulting’. Yes, you’re going to need to get things done when you don’t feel like it. Right now with the responsibilities I have, I can pay for my bills and necessities. But I’m still able to go out and have a good time, I can buy clothes and be comfortable without any worries. So it’s not so bad after all.
I have learnt that life can be so demanding that sometimes you have to look at yourself and just think, ‘it’s life’… and get on with it. What I’ve realised more now than anything is that, at times our goals may not come first, and not being able to accomplish them straight away can’t stop us from living. Sometimes, it’s all about accepting what you have and being able to do what you can now.
I believe adulting is part of a responsibility that we’ll all meet at some point in our lives, which there should be more emphasis of in our earlier years, or when we’re approaching adulthood. One minute we are attending school then suddenly, we’re 18 and classed as adults. A lot of people will go to university without a clue about how to use a washing machine, or how to cook. A lot will not know about paying bills, and will spend their money on nights out and purchasing a Gucci belt instead. However, what’s important is knowing how to cover an electric bill, budget for groceries, and even know who to call for maintenance in your household or even doing it yourself. I’ve learnt that even though I would rather relax and do what I feel like doing, there’s some things that need to be taken care of that corresponds with our day to day lives which I believe is worthwhile in the end.
Written by Leigh-Ann Ncube