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Asexuality is a Thing

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*Some spoilers ahead*

First things first, viagra 40mg you need to see the $111.1 million (USD) to-date box office smash that is Jordan Peele’s brain child. Get Out is a masterfully ironic, view cautionary tale that perfectly balances the scary reality that the real monsters aren’t hiding under the bed- sometimes they walk among us.

This movie was a frigid glass of reality presented at what seems like the new boiling point of this country. Countless think pieces have broken down both blatant and subtle themes woven throughout the movie and the parallels to this sunken place, that is currently real life in this country. One of the most striking themes in Get Out that stuck out to me was the almost cavalier way law enforcement reacts to people begging for answers on the missing black bodies of their friends and loved ones.

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The first scene of the movie is of a black man, lost in an unfamiliar neighborhood, trying to find his way back to his safe space. He jokes on the phone to his friend that “he needs to get up out this white folk’s neighborhood before he goes missing.” He even reroutes himself when he realizes that he’s being followed and it wasn’t enough, giving me flashbacks to Trayvon Martin and how he was brutally murdered just trying to get back home. In the movie and in real life, neither of them make it home.

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Why that is poignant: there have been a string of missing girls being amplified across social media in the Bronx, DC, and many other cities. There is outrage running rampant within minority communities that there are no amber alerts, no breaking news pieces that demanding to know where these girls are. Family and friends of these missing young ladies fuming that every news channel would be screaming about the sheer number of girls missing if they were white.

If they were white, the media would care.

It would be irresponsible to not mention the very real sex trafficking rings happening in big cities. Numerous publications helmed by poc (people of color) have done the research, given the stats. I have watched in real time as Black Twitter pooled their resources together to locate recently missing women and children who ended up in situations that could’ve quickly escalated.

Because if we don’t care about our own, who will?

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Also, worth noting, HBO is going to be running a special on Henrietta Lacks; who had her cells stolen by doctors and used as the backbone in vaccines and treatments for numerous illness and diseases because her cells were thought to be “immortal”. This thought process was also explored in Get Out.

This idea that black bodies are just so much more than that of their counterparts that there is a booming black market on black organs because they are thought to be stronger. Skin stolen for its melanin. Body injections to mimic the very real features on bodies.

Everybody wants to be black, but nobody wants to be black.

As was seen in the movie, the very essence of the people who hate black and brown bodies were placed into them because those very same black and brown bodies were strong enough to survive the lobotomy needed to promote continuity… much like the history of how this country was built in the first place.

The people tasked to “serve and protect” looking the other way and making light of real pain. In the movie, Chris raises his hands in the air when he sees the police car pulling up. He knows that even though his life is in danger, he still isn’t safe at all. In a way, police sirens are our metaphorical teacup, holding us captive in the ‘sunken place’ of being done wrong and not being able to do anything about it.Get Out

Jordan Peele’s masterfully woven comparisons between art and real life are haunting.

Terrifying even.

Written by Aubri Elle
You don’t know pain until a great guy breaks up with you because you don’t want to have sex with him (or anyone really), cost maybe he wasn’t that great or maybe you know this kind of hurt, unhealthy but that’s not the point. I spent ages after that incident trying to figure out what was wrong with me, viagra approved if I was damaged or a lesbian. It all pointed back to the same thing; I DID NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE, but I didn’t know there was an actual term/orientation for that. It wasn’t after months of research and trying to see if there were other people like me that I stumbled onto AVEN, the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network. There was a line at the top of the website that made everything start to come together for me.

It was like finding something so important, suddenly there’s this word that could explain everything I couldn’t and it made me know I wasn’t damaged and that there were others like me.

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In a generation that is so open about sex and sexuality, the grey areas never really get talked about. Trying to explain being asexual, but also bi-romantic is almost like someone explaining calculus and its functions to me. It’s hard. The first time I confided in someone about possibly being asexual, he made it about him and said; “you could have just said you didn’t want to sleep with me”. I was flabbergasted. Being asexual does not mean one’s a pride and it does not mean abstinence or celibacy either. Celibacy or abstinence are choices and decisions that people make, asexuality doesn’t give you that choice. Being asexual means you feel no sexual attraction to other people. Whenever I go a step further to say that I am bi-romantic, people get so confused and therein lies the problem. People reduce everything to sex; Re: Homosexuality. Homophobes never think about same sex people being in love, it all boils down to sex for them; “seeing two men fuck is disgusting” so why are you watching two men fuck then? Why are you that pressed about someone else’s sex life?

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The funny thing is there are asexual gay, bi, lesbian and transgender people. I am bi-romantic; I like boys and girls, I just don’t want to have sex with them. I can do romantic relationships with people, I can even have sex with people if I decide to, after all my vagina still works. It’s just I don’t feel the need to. Some asexual people have sex drives and experience arousal, some masturbate while some don’t. Those activities are independent of actually wanting to have sex with people. There are times that I have been made to feel guilty because I’m sex positive or that I masturbate. Certain people feel like I shouldn’t label myself asexual because I don’t think sex is inherently disgusting. The truth is the only thing asexuals have in common is the lack of sexual attraction to people. There are no rules to this, we just know what we experience and what we don’t. There are other labels under the asexuality umbrella such as gray-sexuality and to some extent demi-sexuality.

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There needs to be more visibility for the asexual community and more open and honest conversations about asexuality. If we don’t fully understand ourselves, communication becomes a hassle. I cannot count the number of times I’ve been told that ‘this is just a phase’ or ‘you haven’t found the right person yet’ or ‘it’s because no one has made you cum’. Those are really ignorant things to say and they do nothing for me other than derail the fact that asexuality is a thing.

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